Swimming in the Deep End

Yesterday I bought a new harness and a new cock. My new harness is so sexy it makes me feel like a Boss. Sitting at work today, I can't stop thinking about it really.  A few months ago I posted something on a butch/femme page (a page I have since left) regarding femmes strapping it on. I was shocked at how many femme identified folks responded that they would NEVER strap it, and acted like it was a complete afront to any notion of being femme identified. It also saddened me to see several butch identified people wrote about how they would never allow "their femme" to strap it on.  There seems to be a large section of the butch/femme community who react very negatively to the notion of femmes with cocks. Butch/femme culture has taken on many of the heteronormative hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine stereotpyes that demand we stick to certain roles. Somehow femmes are less feminine if we want to strap it on. Butches are less butch if they enjoy a good fucking. Why is th...

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman I am fully capable of loving just one person and being lovers with just one person as long as that person is someone who has all of the keys to all of my locks and meets me on every level.   I also am someone who feels so good in my current in situation of engaging in two romantic relationships with two very different people and not having anyone else in my life in a sexual or romantic way. Another me wants to just be completely independent without any labeled commitments and make love to half of my friends because I really do have some amazing friends.   I want to live alone in the woods. I want to live in Manhattan. I want to live with my partner in the home that we own. I want to live in an intentional community with my lover and his family (in separate houses) and other amazing people. I want to be a vagabond and travel the world with no home and no...

Her name was Betty. For some reason this was the hottest thing about her to me. Not her thick chestnut colored hair that went past her shoulders in waves, not her full red lips, nor her gorgeous brown eyes, highlighted by smoky eye shadow. It was her name that got me. Her name, and her clumsy attempts to flirt with me. As I sat chatting with Betty and her boyfriend in the back corner of the cigar bar, sipping bourbon, she confessed that she had never kissed a girl. As she said this, she popped the cherry from her drink into her mouth. Damn, maybe her flirting wasn’t so clumsy after all. Why is it that straight girls love me so much? I’ve never figured it out. Usually I find it annoying, but not that night. That night I was charmed by Betty. We talked, edging closer to each other and ignoring her boyfriend. I put my hand on her thigh and leaned across her, my lips next to her ear I asked, “Are you asking me to kiss you, Betty? Is that what you want?” She blushed and said yes. I lean...

I have been thinking a lot lately about male privilege and masculine of center privilege. I have been having discussions on the topic with friends and lovers. I asked Kyle if he would consider writing on the topic from his perspective as a masculine of center person (MOC) who experiences privilege and who’s privilege is increasing as he becomes more masculine in appearance. (I encourage you to check it out because he speaks to the topic much more eloquently than I am able. Thoughts on Masculine Privilege ) In a recent conversation with my primary partner on this topic, she seemed surprised that I thought she had any privilege as a masculine presenting woman. I reminded her a few incidents in our past.   A few years ago, my primary partner and I went to a gallery show of photographs at our local queer community center. We had looked at all of the pieces and were just hanging out sipping the free wine and chatting with a woman who was new to the area. She loo...

A true story about the night I first met Kyle Jones, who can be found at  butchtastic.net . I became aware of Kyle because of an interview he did with Sinclair on his blog about poly. I had always been curious about poly and sent him a note thanking him for sharing and asking him some questions. Soon after we became friends. I actually met him once before in person, but that night I was with my partner, and we were still in a monogamous relationship, so we didn't really get a chance to talk a lot. We were flirty at times online, but mostly had always kept it in the friend zone. Then my primary relationship opened up and a few months later I found myself in his town on business. I was excited to finally get to spend one on one time with him, but we hadn't been flirty in quite some time, so I had no expectations other than to hang out with a friend. After a long day spent with a client, I checked in to my hotel and got ready for our evening. He t...