All That

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.

- Walt Whitman

I am fully capable of loving just one person and being lovers with just one person as long as that person is someone who has all of the keys to all of my locks and meets me on every level.  I also am someone who feels so good in my current in situation of engaging in two romantic relationships with two very different people and not having anyone else in my life in a sexual or romantic way. Another me wants to just be completely independent without any labeled commitments and make love to half of my friends because I really do have some amazing friends.  

I want to live alone in the woods. I want to live in Manhattan. I want to live with my partner in the home that we own. I want to live in an intentional community with my lover and his family (in separate houses) and other amazing people. I want to be a vagabond and travel the world with no home and no roots.

Sex to me is primal and natural and something that sometimes just occurs with people I have only recently met when the energy is right.  Sex to me is sacred and only for those I am committed to. Sex is a natural extension of friendship and sometimes love between friends is expressed in a physical way.  

I am submissive. I want to feel small. I want to relinquish control to you. I will do whatever you tell me to do and I will love it. I am a top, I am the boss of you. No one tells me what to do. Watch me own you, take you, make you mine. Love me slow and sweet. Be tender with me and I will be tender with you.  Whisper in my ear that you love me, look in my eyes as I come and pour your love into me. Fuck me hard…no harder, I can take it all.  I want it, I need it. Beat me, I’ll beat you. Love me, I’ll love you back in a way you have never experienced. That I am sure of.

I am shy and blushing and I bite my lip and turn away when I am overwhelmed with my love and lust for you. I am bold and brash. I am confident and in charge. I am an expert cocktease and pleasure delayer will make you want it so bad you are begging me before I let you have that sweet release.

I want to stay put, I want to go. I want to never leave my beloved Pacific Northwest. I want to live abroad and only come home for Christmas.

All of it. All of me. If you don’t like my mood, just wait six hours, you’ll get a different version of me. My moods change with the tide.

This is me and I am fine with that. I am more than fine with it. I love me.


  1. Replies
    1. Dear sweet Molly. Thank you for loving me and seeing all of me. And cuddles, thank you for amazing cuddles.

  2. and I am in love with all the Jennas. I remember a time, not so long ago, when I would have been fearful of your contradictions, when I would have felt threatened because I would have felt that if I'm not enough to keep you from wandering, I must not be that important. Much has changed both in my inner strength and in my way of loving. I don't need to be the only one for you, just an important one. I know it's not about me when you talk about all the places you want to go and people you can love. It's about you, and because I love you fully, I also love that about you. I know that if I keep the door open for you, you will come in and you also may go out... only to come back again. I want to love you freely and be loved freely by you. It's a beautiful thing. Our love is gorgeous and rich and full of potential and absolutely has no limits or lids or fences around it. Love on, my beautiful sweetheart.

    1. I cannot imagine when there will ever be a time that I will not be your lover. You meet me on every level. Thank you for loving all of me and never trying to tame me. I will always return to your arms baby.

  3. This is terrifying and beautiful, raw and polished, guttural and up front. This is sacred and holy without leaks. This is wholeness with room for more. This is you and you are beautiful.


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