Strapping It On

Yesterday I bought a new harness and a new cock. My new harness is so sexy it makes me feel like a Boss. Sitting at work today, I can't stop thinking about it really. 

A few months ago I posted something on a butch/femme page (a page I have since left) regarding femmes strapping it on. I was shocked at how many femme identified folks responded that they would NEVER strap it, and acted like it was a complete afront to any notion of being femme identified. It also saddened me to see several butch identified people wrote about how they would never allow "their femme" to strap it on. 

There seems to be a large section of the butch/femme community who react very negatively to the notion of femmes with cocks. Butch/femme culture has taken on many of the heteronormative hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine stereotpyes that demand we stick to certain roles. Somehow femmes are less feminine if we want to strap it on. Butches are less butch if they enjoy a good fucking. Why is that? 

Here's a secret I'll share....being fucked feels really really good. Why would I want my lover to miss out on that pleasure just because they are more masculine than I? Fucking my lover feels like an honor, it is fulfilling not just emotionally but physically. I recognize that it is putting them in a position of vulnerability, a position not normally seen as fitting for a butch identified person. But I ask you, what is more brave and fearless than allowing yourself to fully experience all of your sexual desires?  It is subversive and so queer for my masculine lover to accept me, to let me inside of them in this way. That is raw, that is beautiful. 

I don't enjoy playing by the rules, so do not tell me I cannot be a femme and strap it on. Do not tell me that my lover is not a real butch if they are willing to receive pleasure in this way.  I just want to be free to fuck and be fucked, to give and to receive, to top and to submit. I want my lovemaking to be liberated from any rules or constraints, bound only by mutual consent and desire.

This is how I do queer.  


  1. Damn right!!!! I love you and your sexy new harness! Super hot.

  2. I agree - there is no right or wrong when it comes to what you and your partner do in the bedroom. I've strapped in on before and quite liked it!

  3. Some day the judgements of how others move in the world as butch or femme will all fall away and we'll all embrace the many ways of being in the world. That's my hope, at least.


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