You know those stories about people just chucking everything and taking off for the wildnerness, or a year of world travel, or a hike up the Pacific Crest or Appalachian trail? I crave the ability to take a real journey of that nature.  I have great envy for those folks who are financially capable of doing such things. Maybe they don't have to worry about a mortgage and student loan payments.

Even though I am incapable of physically leaving on a grand adventure of self discovery, I find myself in the wilderness,  even as I sit in my beige cubicle in insurance land.

Somewhere along the way I lost me. Sometime in the last couple of years I forgot who I am. I became a smaller version of myself until now when I look in the mirror I  barely recognize the person staring back.  

I had been thinking I needed help finding my way back to who I am, but the realization struck me this weekend. Why should I limit myself to finding my way back to who I once was? Why not just strip off every single layer and find out who I am meant to be? Who I am now? Who I choose to be? Because we should all get to choose who we want to be. We should all get to lead the life that calls to our soul. (but still pay the mortgage and the student loan bills because I am slightly responsible)

So I choose to enter into my chrysalis and rest a while, reflect, explore my self.  I am going on a journey of the self. We will see what and who emerges on the other side.


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