Ch ch ch Changes ....Turn and Face the Strange


So many changes in my life. Those that know me may think I’m acting impulsively, and maybe I am. But this is my life. I know what I am doing. I am listening to my heart.  This is my only rule. Okay, well maybe I have two rules: be honest and listen to my heart. This is my path to happiness, the only one I know that works.

It makes me sad that the choices I have made cause others to feel loss and grief but I cannot live my life for anyone but myself. I have to trust that the loves I have left will cherish what we had and will find someone who is a better fit for them just as I have found my perfect fit.  I hope that the loves I have left will find someone who will love them back in equal measure and not want more or less than they have to offer.

I tried the poly thing. It didn’t work for me. I tried really hard to make it work for me in my heart and in my mind. Initially it worked for me because I wasn’t fully in love with my partner, so of course I felt capable of loving more than one. My former lover gave me so much. He reminded me that I am capable of deep love, of great feeling. He rekindled hope in me and for that I will always be grateful. I will always be grateful for the time we shared, for the love and the friendship.  Ironically, falling in love not only lead to my breakup with my partner  but also to my breakup with him.

I realized I don’t want a part time love. I want happiness and deep love every single day, not long distance, but physically in my life every day.  Ultimately what I want is one person for whom I am enough. I want one person who is enough for me, a person with whom I can share my life in every way.  I want one person who will invite me in to their inner world and who will want to come into mine.

I have found this person. Our love is sacred, it is deep and solid and feels like home.  To share myself with another would feel like I am not honoring our love or my heart’s deepest desire. I am so confident in my decision, in my choice, that I am taking a leap. I am following the whispers in my heart and making a life with my love. In the coming months we will share a home, we will share a name, we will be bound by words and intent and our love. A love that feels like magic.

“This is my life. I know how to live it. In every moment I know exactly how to live it.”

Comments

  1. Beautiful, my love. Just like you. The compassion, truth, and love in this post is perfectly reflective of your heart. It is an honor to love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. It is an honor to love you as well. Thank you for seeing me and letting me see you. This love we have is so solid, warm, and feels like home.

      Delete
  2. I tip my hat to you and am so happy for you. I think dreamers and seekers will always seem impulsive to the vast majority because we're just not content with settling even if it seems oh so close to perfect. I'm excited at your beginnings that lay ahead and can't wait to learn more. Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Your support means so much to me. I tried to be content with close to perfect but I'm glad I held out because now I have found someone perfect for me. I've never been more sure of anything or anyone.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Thank you! I love that you see my bravery. ♡

      Delete
  4. Life is about living and loving. The thing is, living and loving is different for everyone and the only thing that should matter is whether or not you are happy and compassionate of others. No one can tell you how to live your life or who to fall in love with or how that love should look. Only you know what feels right for you and your heart. Those who love you and express concern about things you do in your life will express that concern because they love you. Remember that, but also remember that they will support you because they love you and, in the end, they only want for your happiness. My heart is so happy for you. I love you and support anything that you choose to do that brings you much happiness and love and all the things you want in this life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your friendship and support have been great sources of comfort for me as I've worked through the process of listening to my heart and finding my happiness. I love you. Thank you for always wanting the best for me.

      Delete
  5. I'm a little confused. You were Kyle's lover, had another full-time partner, but now there's a third person? It sounds so sudden. I'd appreciate clarification, 'cause it doesn't make sense. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a full time partner for four years and Kyle was my lover. Now I am with just one person, not Kyke nor my former partner. I found that when I am deeply in love I cannot be with more than one person as a lover. I want that part of my love to be sacred and shared with only one. I tried to make it work in my heart - to love deeply more than one but I found I just am not able. I still hold love in my heart for Kyle and always will. What we had was beautiful and changed my life for the better.

      Delete
  6. I appreciate your answer, thanks. If you don't mind, though, I have another question. Did you suddenly meet your new partner, or were they someone already in your life? I also admire your courage in living out loud. I'm monogamously married too, and can't cope with poly relationships. It's just too much juggling. I wish you the best in all of your adventures!

    ReplyDelete
  7. My new love is someone new in my life but at the same time it feels like I've known them forever. Thank you for the good wishes. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You're welcome! And thanks for your courteous answers, I appreciate it. I hope that you and your love, have a very happy holiday.

    ReplyDelete
  9. my love.. and yes, you will always be my love, no matter where our paths lead us. My love, the love we created and celebrated will always be a highlight of my life. Your path is leading you away from that part of our relationship but I have faith that we will find a new way to express the love we have for each other.

    The past few weeks have been hard on you and hard on us but I've never regretted falling in love with you and sharing the wonderful, wild, soaring amazing love you and I made.

    all the love to you and best wishes for your new love and new life... <3

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Falling

The Ugly Truth

What Do You Do?