Strapping It On

Yesterday I bought a new harness and a new cock. My new harness is so sexy it makes me feel like a Boss. Sitting at work today, I can't stop thinking about it really. 

A few months ago I posted something on a butch/femme page (a page I have since left) regarding femmes strapping it on. I was shocked at how many femme identified folks responded that they would NEVER strap it, and acted like it was a complete afront to any notion of being femme identified. It also saddened me to see several butch identified people wrote about how they would never allow "their femme" to strap it on. 

There seems to be a large section of the butch/femme community who react very negatively to the notion of femmes with cocks. Butch/femme culture has taken on many of the heteronormative hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine stereotpyes that demand we stick to certain roles. Somehow femmes are less feminine if we want to strap it on. Butches are less butch if they enjoy a good fucking. Why is that? 

Here's a secret I'll share....being fucked feels really really good. Why would I want my lover to miss out on that pleasure just because they are more masculine than I? Fucking my lover feels like an honor, it is fulfilling not just emotionally but physically. I recognize that it is putting them in a position of vulnerability, a position not normally seen as fitting for a butch identified person. But I ask you, what is more brave and fearless than allowing yourself to fully experience all of your sexual desires?  It is subversive and so queer for my masculine lover to accept me, to let me inside of them in this way. That is raw, that is beautiful. 

I don't enjoy playing by the rules, so do not tell me I cannot be a femme and strap it on. Do not tell me that my lover is not a real butch if they are willing to receive pleasure in this way.  I just want to be free to fuck and be fucked, to give and to receive, to top and to submit. I want my lovemaking to be liberated from any rules or constraints, bound only by mutual consent and desire.

This is how I do queer.  

Comments

  1. LWAMarch 30, 2015 at 4:13 PM

    Damn right!!!! I love you and your sexy new harness! Super hot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 31, 2015 at 6:54 AM

    I agree - there is no right or wrong when it comes to what you and your partner do in the bedroom. I've strapped in on before and quite liked it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Red RiderMarch 31, 2015 at 2:40 PM

    Word!

    ReplyDelete
  4. WendiApril 9, 2015 at 7:26 AM

    Some day the judgements of how others move in the world as butch or femme will all fall away and we'll all embrace the many ways of being in the world. That's my hope, at least.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Ugly Truth

Love shouldn't hurt. If love hurts then it's not right. I had learned this lesson before, years ago when I dated someone I now refer to as Voledemort. I swore to myself I would never end up in an abusive relationship again. When my former wife moved out here (after doing the long distance thing) things quickly started to feel off. There was far more conflict than I was used to. There was yelling, there were strange overreactions like the time they left me in a restaurant and drove off, or the time they got mad at me and blocked me on facebook, or the time....(I could go on and on but I won't). These all should have been warning signs, but I excused every single one of them. I reminded myself that my former spouse had just been through the serious trauma of having their house burned down in a hate crime. I excused those behaviors because my former wife had never lived with a romantic partner before. I listened to and believed the excuses I was given for the erratic
Read more

Ch ch ch Changes ....Turn and Face the Strange

So many changes in my life. Those that know me may think I’m acting impulsively, and maybe I am. But this is my life. I know what I am doing. I am listening to my heart.   This is my only rule. Okay, well maybe I have two rules: be honest and listen to my heart. This is my path to happiness, the only one I know that works. It makes me sad that the choices I have made cause others to feel loss and grief but I cannot live my life for anyone but myself. I have to trust that the loves I have left will cherish what we had and will find someone who is a better fit for them just as I have found my perfect fit.  I hope that the loves I have left will find someone who will love them back in equal measure and not want more or less than they have to offer. I tried the poly thing. It didn’t work for me. I tried really hard to make it work for me in my heart and in my mind. Initially it worked for me because I wasn’t fully in love with my partner, so of course I felt capable of loving mo
Read more

First Kiss

A true story about the night I first met Kyle Jones, who can be found at  butchtastic.net . I became aware of Kyle because of an interview he did with Sinclair on his blog about poly. I had always been curious about poly and sent him a note thanking him for sharing and asking him some questions. Soon after we became friends. I actually met him once before in person, but that night I was with my partner, and we were still in a monogamous relationship, so we didn't really get a chance to talk a lot. We were flirty at times online, but mostly had always kept it in the friend zone. Then my primary relationship opened up and a few months later I found myself in his town on business. I was excited to finally get to spend one on one time with him, but we hadn't been flirty in quite some time, so I had no expectations other than to hang out with a friend. After a long day spent with a client, I checked in to my hotel and got ready for our evening. He t
Read more