Swimming in the Deep End

The other day,  I read this brilliant essay with tears streaming down my face.   Please read it. This Is Not For You    Pretty much every single word she wrote resonated with me.   I have struggled feeling like I fit anywhere all of my life, but I'm always extra sad when I feel like a misfit in my own community.  I’ve been called bisexual like it’s a dirty word. I recall the times when women have bragged about being gold stars* with an air of superiority.  I cannot tell you how many time people have treated me like property of my butch partners because I am wearing a skirt and heels and expertly applied eyeliner.  I remember that one time a “well meaning” gay guy asked me   if I was gay because I thought I couldn’t get a guy because I’m not skinny, and tried to reassure me that I’m still pretty even if I’m not thin. (Maybe because I’m girly he thought I wasn’t genuinely queer.) I have loved men, both cis and trans. I have loved them fo...

Yesterday I bought a new harness and a new cock. My new harness is so sexy it makes me feel like a Boss. Sitting at work today, I can't stop thinking about it really.  A few months ago I posted something on a butch/femme page (a page I have since left) regarding femmes strapping it on. I was shocked at how many femme identified folks responded that they would NEVER strap it, and acted like it was a complete afront to any notion of being femme identified. It also saddened me to see several butch identified people wrote about how they would never allow "their femme" to strap it on.  There seems to be a large section of the butch/femme community who react very negatively to the notion of femmes with cocks. Butch/femme culture has taken on many of the heteronormative hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine stereotpyes that demand we stick to certain roles. Somehow femmes are less feminine if we want to strap it on. Butches are less butch if they enjoy a good fucking. Why is th...